Life of Crime
Aggravated Assault of a Grinch.

And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small girl!
Little Cindy-Lou Blacknblue, who was not more than two.

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny bruised daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.

She stared at the Grinch and screamed, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHAT THE $%*#?!? WHY???"

But, you know, that old Grinch thought he was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."

"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

'Yeah, right Grinch.' mumbled Cindy-Lou. He then patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

And though the Grinch thought Cindy-Lou turned to go to bed with her cup,
SHE went to the chimney and stuffed the Grinch up!